CONFIDENCE - How to be more confident in just 15 Steps

Updated: Sep 10


“How to be more confident?” This is a very frequently asked question today. Today, we have to communicate with a lot of people daily, confidence is the very first thing a person notices in us we meet. Here we are going to discuss some important tips that will help you to enhance your confidence level and communication skills.



1- Accept Your Flaws

This is a universal rule that nobody is flawless and perfect in this world. This is the habit of successful and confident people that they admit their mistakes and try to fix them. Because when you try to hide your mistakes and start arguing with the person who highlights your miss happens, you can’t be a mature person. A low error personality is actually the perfect one.


When you admit your guilt openly and try to correct it, this boosts your confidence to the next level and you become a good learner too. If a person highlights some drawbacks in your personality, first you have to self analyze yourself and check if he is right or not. If he is right, you should thank him and start working on yourself to remove that error from your personality.


The sooner you accept your flaws, the quicker you can remove them. But if you don’t have the confidence to accept your flaws, you can never remove them and people start avoiding you thinking that you are an arrogant person. People think that having flaws is an insult, but actually, this is a very wrong mentality. Accepting these flaws gives you a golden opportunity for improvement.


2- Add “I don’t care” to your personality

“I don’t care” is a negative expression though but this is essential sometimes. When you express your views confidently without any hesitation, after the conversation your brain starts overthinking that the person must be thinking negatively about you. There is no reality in such thoughts that’s why you have to say “I don’t care”.


When you say “I don’t care” to your negative thoughts, your brain stops overthinking and increases your confidence. This “I don’t care” is important that saves you from dangerous self-made false assumptions which can damage your confidence. So, learn to say “I don’t care” if you want to be a confident person.


3- Be Physically Fit

Physical fitness is very important to everyone because body language is the visual part of your personality. If your body language is confident, you can automatically talk confidently. But poor body language is the symbol that you lack confidence. So, to become physically fit, the gym is the best option.


Physical and mental fitness are part and parcel of each other. Work out is the best option for mental fitness. Work out makes you physically fit and physical fitness makes you mentally fit. When you are physically fit, you can talk to another person confidently. Physical fitness gives you some exceptional sort of confidence.


If you notice your surroundings, you’ll find that you are attracted to physically fit people. Physically fit people are usually intelligent ones and intelligent people are confident ultimately. Normally most people are sapiosexuals. So to become a confident person, you need to look physically fit.



4- Do Not Compare

One of the most important thing to be a confident person is to stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the antonym of confidence. When you compare yourself to others, you not only disrespect your dignity but your unique qualities too, that make you exceptional in the crowd. You have to admit that God has made you different from others and you should not try to copy others.


Comparison with others distracts you from focusing on your goals and you waste most of your precious time focusing on others’ life and you fall prey to an inferiority complex. On the other hand, when you compare your today with your past, this is a positive comparison. You should analyze if you are getting better from your past or not. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you become the emperor of your own empire.


In the first step, you try to compare yourself to a person, then that person dominates your mind and after that, you start copying him. When you have done copying him, you found another person better than the first one and start comparing yourself to the new one and so on. After some time, you start thinking that the whole world is better than you and you are a loser. This is all just because you lose confidence.



5- Don’t Be Ashamed Of Your Natural Exceptions

This point is also of prime importance. This is the defect in our society that we’ve set some useless merits. For example, we have been listening since childhood that dark skin tone is ugly and people with bright skin tones are pretty ones. People with spotted cheeks are ugly and clear skin is beautiful. This causes the people with dark skin tone and spotted skin to think that they are inferior to white and clear skin people and they are worse than them. They ultimately lose confidence


Similarly, Smart people think that they are superior to fat ones and people with any natural defect feel that they are lower beings. This lack of confidence damages them so much that they don’t even participate in life and suppress their plus qualities. These are just trash values set by our ancestors that need to be flushed. Skin color has nothing to do with your mind and intelligence.


The people who have a natural defect are gifted with a better alternative to this exception. If you have a dark skin tone, wrinkled face, or fatty physique, you don’t need to lose confidence because of this. In fact, this must be your strength and you should express your points with full confidence without any hesitation. When your skills and achievements speak, nobody checks these exceptions.


6- Embrace Failure

Failure is the most important part of life. This is human nature that we don’t accept failures. But you need to understand that failure is part of the journey, not the destination. You have to accept failures. Here you can get motivation from the life of successful people who accept failures confidently.


When you accept failures, you can overcome those mistakes and try again with more energy and those failures boost up you to work more energetically and you become successful. In other words, accepting failures give you the confidence to fight that failure and make you a successful person. So a successful person admits failures.


If you don’t accept failure and give up, you will lose confidence. This loss of confidence makes you a loser. The one who doesn’t have the confidence to accept his failure doesn’t deserve to be successful. So accept your failure confidently and continue hustling until you succeed.



7- Learn To Say "No"

This point is very important because this is related to rejection or the negative point that raises your confidence to a very high level. This “No” is actually of two types. The first type is that you have to say no to parties during the hustle, no to quit, no to give up, no to useless relationships, and no to time-wasting stuff.


When you are hustling and your friends come and ask you to party, you have to say “no”, without caring whatever he feels. The second type is that you have to say no to your close ones. For example, your close one comes to you and asks you for some money and you are not in the situation to help him, you learn to say “No”.


This “no” will raise your confidence. To be a confident person. you need to say this “no” without any hesitation. You don’t need to give an explanation to that person that why did you say “no” to him. If he feels bad, this has nothing to do with you.” No” is a word that makes you feel very bad but when you are not in the situation to help someone you learn to say “No”.



8- Observe more than you talk

Strong observation is a key thing. In this step, you have to detect the environment before giving your statement. For this, you have to ask yourself a few questions i.e:

  • Is this the right time to speak?

  • Will the person in front, get my points?

  • Are the words I’m going to use suitable to this situation?

If your answer to all these questions is “Yes” then you should give your statement. Secondly, you shouldn’t talk before listening. Listening is the main key to observation. Good listeners are strong observers in fact. When you listen with full attention, what the other person is talking about and remain involved in the conversation, the other person will also pay attention to your words when it’s your turn.


You can show with your facial expressions if you are not interested in the conversation or disagree with the views of the other person. This will increase your confidence and self-esteem. You should also observe the mood of the other person and mold your accent accordingly. You shouldn’t use disrespectful words or any sort of words that can hurt the feelings or beliefs of the other person.


If you feel that the person you are talking to is an aggressive sort of individual, you should use humble and soft words. Secondly, you shouldn’t argue with that sort of person because a quick response can damage your confidence.


9- Positive Body Language

This point is very much related to the point of “physical fitness” discussed earlier. Body language is the visual display of your confidence level. A smooth and confident body language leaves a positive impression and makes your speech impactful. So you must use some small body gestures while talking, this will show that you are totally involved in that conversation and confident about what you are saying.


You must show facial expressions while talking and also show negative expressions when you disagree with that person’s point. Refusal and rejection will show that you are mentally involved in that conversation and comfortable. You should not keep on changing body postures while talking because this shows that you are feeling uncomfortable and not confident about what you’re saying.


When the man in front shows disagreement with you, you don’t need to lose confidence. You should keep on talking and say “Well you have the right to disagree with my statement”. Your body actions must be according to the words that are the presentation of your confidence.


10- Practice Self Talk

Self-talk is a very essential tip to become a confident person. You can express your thoughts in front of someone only when you can express that thought in front of yourself first. If you feel hesitation in talking to someone or feel fear in expressing your views in front of a crowd, then this part is very important to you. This fear may lead to Agoraphobia.


To overcome this fear, you have just to practice some simple things. First, you have to practice talking to yourself in front of a mirror. You have to imagine that you are talking to someone and expressing your thoughts about something without any hesitation. If you feel difficulty in pronouncing words, you can put a pencil in your mouth. You can practice this for ten to fifteen minutes. This therapy helps you to talk confidently and frequently.


The other additional therapy is that can you can tell your fears and insecurities to yourself in the mirror, You can discuss with yourself that how you are going to overcome your fears and fight with your insecurities. This will help in increasing your confidence level. You can tell yourself that how will you remove errors from your personality.


11- Stay humble

Though this point is related to personality development, this has very much to do with your confidence too. As mentioned earlier that you should use words and accents according to the situation. When you stay humble while talking to a person, he remains involved in the conversation and pays full attention to you. He wants to talk to you again.


But if your accent is rude and insulting, nobody will talk to you and start avoiding you. People will ignore you and start running away from you whenever you try to talk to them. When nobody talks to you, you ultimately lose confidence. This loss of confidence is dangerous because once a person makes a negative perception of you, it’s difficult to change it


But with pleasant behavior, people become attracted to you and want to talk to you. The more people you deal with, the more confidence you get. Because when you talk to different people, you get the confidence to deal with every kind of person. The people start respecting you. So, next time whenever you have to talk to someone, speak calmly and with humbleness.



12- Stop arguing with fools

Though the argument is a good thing until it is limited to the discussion. Discussions improve your knowledge and help in mind grooming. But there are some rules of arguments. You can discuss your thoughts, observations, and knowledge with someone, this increases confidence and strengthens the knowledge. There are some points that need to keep in mind while arguing.


Firstly you have to choose the right person to argue with. You have to check that the person you are going to argue with is of a strong and broad mentality. He is not aggressive and intensive. Because you can lose confidence because of his quick stupid response. When a stupid ad fool person is losing an argument, he starts abusing and sometimes starts fighting. This causes you to lose confidence in discussions.


Another thing to keep in mind while arguing is that your points and thoughts are not objective truths. The other person has the right to deny and disagree with your statements. So you need to keep your logic and arguments strong. Whenever a person disagrees with your point, you don’t need to lose confidence. You just have to convince him with your clues. But even so, you found his clues strong, you don’t have to lose confidence but admit that he is right and thank him for increasing your knowledge.


13- Stop Seeking Other’s Approval

This topic is about asking for permission or suggestions. You don’t need any approval from someone that you can do it or not. This was you who saw that dream, you are the one who is going to hustle to achieve that goal, then why do you need any approval from someone who doesn’t even watch get spark inside you. People can just demoralize you and highlight the hurdles.


You can start working on your dream silently just like you saw the dream without letting the people know. If you don’t need any approval from people to see a big dream, then you don’t need any approval from people to achieve it too. So start hustling silently and let the reward tell people itself.


Asking not for approval has a very big reason. As you know that every person has his own different mentality, so when you ask someone for approval, he gives you suggestions according to his mentality and knowledge. This doesn’t mean he is your foe, but he can’t see your situation. So you have to build confidence to work hard alone and silently.



14- Take care of your physical appearance

Physical appearance is a very important point that you need to take care of. Your physical appearance is the first prominent display that a person notices before your words. A neat and clean appearance automatically improves your confidence level. Because this makes a good image of you in your mind and you start assuming yourself a confident person.


Good physical appearance doesn’t mean to change your natural looks and appearance or to change your skin color. It’s mean to keep yourself simple and wear simple clothes. You must have noticed that when you are not wearing a good dress, you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone, and the other person can notice this easily. This causes you to lose confidence.


So whenever you are going to socialize or address a crowd, wear a good dress. Here the point to keep in mind is that a good dress doesn’t mean an expensive or costly dress. Good dress means a simple and neat and clean dress, whatever you like. Situational dressing is also a point to be noticed that you should dress according to the event, which will help to boost your confidence.


15- Write Your Qualities & Skills

To become a confident person this point is of prime importance. Writing is alternative to overthinking. If you are an overthinker and have lack confidence, you can avoid this by following these simple rules. You have to take a pencil and a notebook and write down all your fears and complexes on one side. On the other side, write all your powers, skills and qualities.


Now you have to compare both. You’ll find that your positive points are dominating over negative ones. You can add some plus points too. Secondly, you have to write plans to enhance your skills. Then you have to start working on these plans to make your skills better and better. This will not only increase your confidence level but make you a versatile personality too.


When you start writing about yourself, this creates a positive image of yourself in your mind and you become more confident. When you think positively about yourself, you don’t care what other people think of you or talk about you. And the time you waste in overthinking is saved and you utilize this energy positively. This point has prime importance in becoming a confident person.




Thanks for reading…


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